REAL Mentors

I hope you all enjoyed the class on mentoring. We have so many great biblical models to follow, Elijah/Elisha, Moses/Joshua, Paul/Timothy, and Jesus/the 12. While I know many relationships happen "accidentally" where someone flows into our life at the right time, I want to also encourage intentional relationships. You may be in a place where you feel the need for a mentor. You may be thinking you could mentor someone else. OR you may think you have something to offer in one area but could use direction somewhere else. It is possible to mentor and be mentored at the same time. The suggestions for this week are...

Want a Mentor?

• List the qualities you want/need in a mentor. Think of your learning style, personality preferences, and desired skills.
• Ask someone in leadership(a pastor,etc) if they know someone who fits those qualifications.
• Meet with someone and talk about possible mentoring possibilities. Do not expect an answer right away. You may not even want to phrase it that way at the beginning. You could start with. "I admire......Could we get together and talk about how you manage that in your life...."

Want to Mentor?

• Ask trusted others if they see you as qualified to mentor, and in what areas. Consider a spiritual gift inventory (I know we have access to several, let me know if you are interested)
• Go to a leader or other knowledgeable person and ask if they know anyone seeking the skills you have available. Do they know anyone with undeveloped talents in your area of skill? This can be a youth or adult.
• Meet with someone to talk about your shared interests. Perhaps suggest doing something in that area together. Formalized structure may not be needed or wanted in the beginning, leave things open.

I hope everyone has a blessed next few weeks. Remember we will not be having class next week due to Thanksgiving and so the teasers will not resume until December 2.

Tuesday Teaser for 11/19

I am very excited about this week's topic - real mentors. We all remember writing the sad little essays on our heroes while in school. I always found that a challenging assignment. The societal heroes in the media - sports, movies, tv, etc - do nothing for me. Why acting skills equate with political and social expertise escapes me. We do not hear many stories on real heroes, except Mother Theresa and her story lost its power in its trite repeated retellings. (I have read the biography - it is a powerful story worth studying, but surely she was not the only person living an amazing life for a cause beyond herself?) We are a society in need of someone to look up to.

We have some amazing women at Farragut and I would no longer struggle to write that school essay. Mentoring can be such a blessing and I would love to see more of that going on (insert plug for the ladies retreat in February and Monday morning ladies class in general - those women will inspire you). I am grateful that I once participated in an official mentoring program while in grad school. It was the best thing I have done professionally speaking - EVER. I can only imagine what God could do with that program spiritually and emotionally.

Let's come prepared to talk about mentor. Why don't we "formalize" those relationships more often? God frequently uses others to teach us His ways - why aren't we more proactive in that process? When you have a mentor you are essentially saying "I like the way you do things - can you teach me your methods/way/thinking/style?" When you are the mentee (real word) you take on some one's "yoke" and follow in their footsteps. Wonder what that sounds like.....


Jesus was/is the ultimate mentor.

See you tomorrow!

REAL Change

Thanks to the girls who came last night to participate in the discussion on change. It seemed like everyone was well engaged and I hope you all are enjoying this experience as much as I am. I am so pleased that you have put thought into the lessons before we come together, even if I stray off topic and away from the questions you so thoughtfully completed. The highlights from last night...

• We, as followers of Christ, should believe in real change. Not through our own willpower but the transforming power of the Spirit within us. Remember the verses in Rom 13:12-14, Eph 5:3-8, and particularly 1 Cor 6:9-11. We are messed up people, but are washed and no longer what we were. We are changed. Does this mean we will be perfect? NO. Does it mean we have the power to be different? ABSOLUTELY. Let's not get in the way of the work of the Spirit in our lives. HE can do great things. Look at the lives of the first disciples - their witness was strengthened by the change that overcame their lives as they followed Christ. The change in our lives can be our most compelling witness to the reality of a living God.
• Christ helps us change by breaking the pattern of failure in our lives. The numbers of people suffering from depression in this country is staggering - we can find ourselves beaten down from the outside and from within. Feel the affirming love of God (Romans 5:7-8) Rely on His strength, not your own.
• In observing the separation between Paul and Barnabus we see a lesson on change. While Paul did not see a "changed" John Mark in Acts 15, we know that later they were working together in the kingdom (Col 4:10, 2 Tim 4:11, and Philem 24). Apparently both learned that change could occur. We can not force others to change, but we can trust that God has the power to do so.

Some suggested activities...

• Make a list of the positive changes you have seen in your life over the past ten years -this should give some perspective - sometimes changes move very slowly and we get discouraged when we don't step back far enough. Ten years ago would not have seen me writing this blog. :)
• Pray that God will open your eyes on the area of your life He wants to change next. Help Him in this, perhaps you need to get out of His way.
• Try something that you previously failed at. Make this a positive experience. Have you failed at keeping some resolution way back from January - dust it off and give it another go. Will it work for sure this time? No guarantees, but don't live your life assuming things will never change.

Lastly - when thinking of growth and change within yourself, think also that God's vision extends beyond you - what are you doing to strengthen the body overall?

Blessings.

Tuesday Teaser for 11/12

As we begin to prepare for a study on change I am struck again by the principles that we often apply to individuals and their equally powerful application to a body of individuals.

Tomorrow we will look at the change that occurs when we follow Christ. (First of all - was there any change? - Were you perfect before? Have you allowed the transforming power of the Spirit to work on you?) After reading 2Cor 5:17 where we learn that we are a new creation, the author asks what changes we saw in a friend that put on Christ. This made me think quickly to see if I knew anyone who had become a Christian during my knowing them. We often hang out in our circles, raising our children to follow Christ and they then get their own circle of Christian friends. Where are the friendships with non-Christ followers? Before I can see the change I have to know someone outside the camp of circled wagons. Thankfully I can think of some who came to know Christ after they were a friend, but not as many as I would like. I have seen softening and redirection in previously unexpected ways in these folks. The power of Christ to change lives is amazing, as testified by the effectiveness of the rag tag bunch of followers that spread Christ's message to the world in the first few centuries after His death on a cross. Do we stand in the way of this power? Individually? Corporately?

What can learn about the transforming power to change us - really change our inner self, not just a couple of check mark behaviors?

What change can occur in our fellowship if we get out of the Spirit's way?

See you tomorrow!

Dealing with REAL Conflict

Thanks to you all for your participation last night. We had a great discussion on conflict (along with a few tangential topics as well) I want to bring up again a few points

• The verses in Matthew 18:15-17 that talk about going to your bother refer to addressing sin that leads from Christ. It is not necessarily referring to having it out with anyone who disagrees or irritates you. However we can still get some good principles, such as trying to resolve issues one-on-one first if possible. Also it suggests we need to do all that is within our power to resolve conflict before dropping someone. Remember, as long as it is within your power, be at peace.
• Having a plan for how conflict will be handled before it arises is a good idea. Do you know how you would handle conflict in your family? Workplace? Small Group? Church? While we can plan for every contingency - it is not unwise to have a plan for reconciliation in mind.
• Many will talk about the beauty of diversity of ideas but the reality is far from what we had in mind. Difference is wonderful as long as you agree with me. :) However we need only look around to know that God crated a world full of variety. Working through conflict to create harmony will allow us to reflect God's character to others, and allow us to show that the church can be different from the rest of society.

Let's work to reflect Christ, even in conflict.

Tuesday Teaser for 11/5

Welcome back to the regularly scheduled teaser post. For those detail oriented persons you will notice how early I am getting to this. Really an unprecedented hour for me, the complete opposite of a morning person. However here I am, getting things done early today! I find it strangely satisfying that we will be discussing conflict this week, during the election day drama. Regardless of the outcome, many people will be upset. My years of political interest have been fewer than some, but even in my time I can see politics increasing in conflict. The other party is seen as completely and totally wrong and occasionally rather stupid or naive or hateful or mean or whatever. This is true no matter what "side" you are on.

In trying to explain to my son what election day is all about I realize how far we truly are from what I tell him. While he knows who I voted for (and announced it to the entire polling place, despite the signs on the wall that tell you not to mention a candidate's name within a certain number of feet) I also want him to know that other people may vote differently, and that they are not "wrong" for doing so. My simplistic explanation was that most of us want the same vision for our country - peace, prosperity, growth, freedom, etc. Where we disagree in on the methods to achieve those goals. Sadly I do know that is not what we see, hear, and say ourselves in political discussions.

In discussing conflict I do not want to hover around politics, I bring that up merely as an example perfect for today. Tomorrow is not election day so we will talk about other areas during our actual class. ;)

The verses in the preparing section were a mix for me. I expected the verses in Matthew 18: 15-17, the classic prescription for dealing with conflict with another brother, although I think that verse is misapplied at times, and we can get into that tomorrow. The other scripture again took me by surprise. Luke 10: 38-42 tells the well known story of Mary and Martha, one sister working hard in the kitchen, the other sitting at the Lord's feet. I have never labeled this as a "conflict" story but rather one about priorities, however I can see the potential.

Many people are turned off by "church" because it seems no better than society, just as full of bickering and other unpleasant emotions. They expect "church people" to act better. By not acting better they write off what we believe. This saddens me a great deal. People are not perfect, in or out of a church body. The scripture in Luke shows that even when Jesus Himself is present, conflict arises. In our fellowship we need not expect perfection, but acknowledge the realities of our humanness and work to resolve conflicts as they arise, as they inevitably will.

See you tomorrow!