Let us model our forgiveness on God, the ultimate example. In Isaiah (43:25) God states "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." Again in Jeremiah 31:34 He again states the wickedness will be forgiven and sins remembered no more. This concept is reviewed by the Hebrew writer in 8:12 and 10:17. God does not hold our past transgressions over our head waiting for us to slip up and go splat.
Forgiveness will take action on our part. We have to decide that they don't have to pay. What can we do when it is hard?
- Make a list of what God has forgiven you, big and small. This can help lend perspective.
- Talk with someone about your hurt. Make this a trusted, confidential mentor figure. Chatting it up with anyone you see is not a healthy purging, but only starting up the cycle of hurt and betrayal on your own.
- Pray for God's forgiving spirit to fill you. Sometimes we don't "feel" like forgiving due to our bad day or the fact that the offense is major(and sadly there are MAJOR offenses out there both outside and inside a Christian community). What we can not pull off alone, God can do through us.
Sometimes we just want someone to pay. We cry out for revenge and call it justice or fairness. Life under the sun is not always fair. Bringing kingdom living into our day to day lives is hard, but I believe ultimately worth it. Let's try forgiving like God forgives. If not, we are generally only hurting ourselves.
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Joseph, son of Issac, is one of the best examples of forgiveness and taking the high road. His life story is an inspiration on forgiveness to me. He was severely mistreated by his brothers, forgotten by servants of the king with whom he was imprisoned. Many other examples in his life tell of his choosing what God teaches. It was years later in his life that he clearly understood that God worked in his life for good. (Something that we may wait years to see how God works for good in our lives as well.) His spirit of forgiveness kept his heart open to seeing God and being pleasing to God. When we do not forgive, our spirits hold onto a negative spirit. That negative spirit drives out all sorts of positive spiritual qualities and handicaps us to serve God and our fellow man as we should. An unforgiving spirit is poison to our souls. However, it is our earthly nature to seek revenge when we have been wronged and to make the person admit and see the hurt they have caused us. We do not always get that satisfaction from the person that wronged us. We have to forgive them whether they are aware of the wrong or not. It takes time to forgive. We need to be patient with ourselves while going through the process. It comes when we keep turning our spirits to do what is right and to do good and not seeking revenge. Having a spirit of thanksgiving aids us in our learning forgiveness and arriving at forgiveness in our hearts. Thanksgiving drives out all sorts of negative thoughts and attitudes including one of unforgiving. A thankful heart allows our souls to grow in the gifts of the holy spirit. That includes a heart of forgiveness.
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